@ bcyy,
Not sure if pawn shops are still legal nowadays, but unfortunately they did a roaring trade in times past. Banks have taken the role of providing money but with the condition of added interest and that it must be repaid within a certain time period. Not sure when bank loans started in our history. I'm also not sure how pawnbrokers would operate as regards a possession in 'safekeeping' until the customer can repurchase (but doubtless it would increase in value over time so it's similar to bank interest; the former owner would have to cough up a greater sum to repurchase). Bear in mind there's a time limit until a possession may be sold to anyone. You're right in the fact that loan sharks would also add on interest that accumulates over time, although often they do pressurize clients into paying up, sadly. Banks have legal law on their side. Pawnbrokers can provide quick cash but often make a profit by reducing the true value during this transaction, charging true price to potential customers, perhaps a little more to actual previous owners for 'safekeeping' costs. One thing for certain: all three make profit in some way or another. Notably, there are adverts in the UK for people who wish to sell gold jewellery in return for cash - so 'pawnbrokers' do exist in one form or another. In the Baron's world (Titan) they certainly do, while banks don't (or so I gather). Don't forget about antique shops and auction rooms. Would they follow a similar process to pawnbrokers? I don't know. Not forgetting those second-hand price deals, a simple process by placing an advert in the supermarket or local newspaper. How many such goods have been sold lower than what they were actually worth just for the sake of freeing up space? The true worth of a possession depends upon the situation at the time. Is a person considered less because they were desperate or it made financial sense? Once, a famous man was poor and out of favour so he had to sell his watch to buy food. Hard to believe this same man went on to rule over a prosperous French Empire! And yet, perhaps he regretted selling such a watch...?

bcyy
Wed Aug 17 11:14:59 2016

@Yaztromo

You have a point there. I guess when banking systems are inadequate, they can perform a certain role...

@Robert

Titan has no banks? Are you sure? I'd have assumed that Baron Sukumvit would have used at least some of his dough to open banks - seems like an infinitely better investment to me than building dungeons for wannabe adventurers to challenge...

Napoleon sold his watch? I don't remember such a detail, yet I can't think of any other ruler of the French Empire who had experienced poverty before coming to power...

i died:(
Fri Dec 23 12:05:28 2016
Skull - non-optimum ending reached

It was basically like a Christmas carol with fighting.

A.E.Johnston
Sun Dec 25 10:48:51 2016
Star - optimum ending reached

Always fun to replay this during Christmas time. Merry Christmas to everyone!

bluejuice915
Fri Mar 31 01:00:47 2017
Star - optimum ending reached

This was OK. The adaption of A Christmas Carol was unoriginal, which has been said, but still required some creativity. The logic of what you had to do didn't make much sense. The choices were good, but the battles could have been much better. I'm being generous on this grade for kindness reasons.
Grade: 83

RogueOne
Fri Nov 10 17:00:25 2017
Star - optimum ending reached

Done!

RAfał
Wed Feb 7 19:51:37 2018

Very suuuuper story please more more more

paul
Sun Mar 17 11:13:36 2019
Skull - non-optimum ending reached

should have contined to the orphanage but i felt that revenge would be in character.

A.E. Johnston
Mon Mar 18 06:10:11 2019

Paul you're a beast!!! How many of these stories did you play? It looks like you completed everything that was uploaded to the site, well done, lol.

God
Wed Jun 17 08:55:52 2020
Skull - non-optimum ending reached

good

rafael
Wed Dec 16 15:13:04 2020
Skull - non-optimum ending reached

This is super but what i can make to be baron good man?

YARD
Mon Aug 21 10:08:34 2023
Star - optimum ending reached

So, as usual, I played to completion and then read the comments. From what I read, it appears that this story is a spin-off of a 1994 canon FF story, Deathmoor?

On its own, that's not an issue: the brilliant Princess of Zamarra, by the same author, is a sequel to a different canonical gamebook as well, after all, and it's no issue at all. In fact, I didn't really realize there was a whole completed story in the background (and not just detailed background lore) until after beating it and coming back to it. Unfortunately, here, it's very, very clear that you are missing something fundamental, and without the context of that other gamebook, it's hard to care about any named character. The references to Arachnos are particularly confusing, and the whole plan with the kidnapping feels far too abstract to care about. Not that there's any more context about the Baron's royal relatives, or the wizard. That episode with him is confusing in how abruptly the story moves on past it and we never learn what he was doing (and if it mattered to anyone else) and nor do we learn how the Baron became the Baron in spite of being third in line to the title? These shortcomings are felt really acutely here, because as an adaptation of a famous Dickens story, it is quite brief and sticks too closely to its source material to surprise.

Even if this story really was meant to have the other gamebook as required reading, surely there was no barrier to add a few more refs, and use them to fit some spark, some texture to all of those important characters, presumably with details additional to what you would have known from that other story? I won't mention how much better Zamarra was at this, since the two works are over a decade apart and it's clear Kieran has only gotten better with time to create what seems to be his magnum opus, but it appears that "Melchion's Week" was written around the same time, and that one is much better, both in general, and in allowing every character to leave an impression in only a few refs. (So are a lot of other gamebooks here, for that matter, like Bloodsworth Bayou, Golem Gauntlet, all of Gavin's works, the two short stories from Robert Douglas I have seen to date, etc.)

That, and there are some narrative issues where I think even such background knowledge wouldn't have helped. I.e. there's the lack of ending variety, where you can make a lot of wrong choices in the dreams, but they all lead to the exact same bad ending (in contrast to not just Zamarra, but also "Melchion's Week" which had so many well-written and consistently amusing suboptimal endings)

Once you do get to the end, the

SPOILER

END SPOILER

which determines what ending you get feels like a total deus ex machina.

And I'll admit I'm not very pleased with the "best" ending

SPOILER

END SPOILER

P.S. Given that this story is also quite "dreamy", perhaps it could also be a good candidate for generated illustrations? Granted, the lack of illustrations is not even close to the main issue here, but at least it's the one thing which can be improved without involving Kieran.

Kieran
Fri Sep 8 23:08:11 2023

This was written for a competition for the official FF site. It had to be Christmas themed and 50 sections max. In the end I missed the deadline for the competition so I guess I could have expanded it, but hey, I'm lazy.

It has a number of references to both Deathmoor and Masks of Mayhem - the Word version carries a spoiler warning for both books. Admittedly these references are probably very confusing to those unfamiliar with either book!

YARD
Sat Sep 9 08:23:49 2023

Yeah, while on one hand, the ways in which the stories on here manage to work in the canon books are often really inventive, I do feel that multiple stories lean on those connections far too heavily, and unfortunately, this seems like one of them.

For the record, I have been checking out the archived canon FF book reviews recently, and the ones for Deathmoor are particularly epic. https://web.archive.org/web/20170905062914/http://user.tninet.se/~wcw454p/docs/ff55.txt Amongst all the other things it brings up, Leigh Loveday's review makes me wonder: was the Princess meant to have gotten married to that book's protagonist after the successful victory? If so, is this narrative then premised on the idea it falls apart due to her PTSD?

Kieran
Sat Sep 9 14:22:57 2023

The hero of Deathmoor is promised half the kingdom but I decided that after rescuing the princess, the two of them become engaged. The hero is being hunted by the Pelagines (sort of fish-men) for stealing one of their scarlet pearls so I posited that they eventually caught up with him and killed him which was a contributing factor to the princess' mental health issues.

A.E.Johnston
Wed Jan 10 07:12:32 2024
Star - optimum ending reached

Played it many times before but always fun to revisit during Christmas. Wonderful job Kieran.

A.E.Johnston
Wed Jan 10 07:33:57 2024

@YARD just in regards to your comments, as Kieran mentioned this story is only 50 paragraphs and it is difficult to put such a high level of backstory and detail into such a short game book. Comparing it to a visual media, a full 400 paragraph game book can be compared to movie, while a 50 paragraph game book is more akin to a 15 minute short. It’s far more difficult to introduce the same amount of depth and detail- I can vouch as even having written a 100 paragraph game book I felt quite restricted.
The story is obviously based of a Christmas Carol, and this is satisfactory in my opinion in setting up a framework of the plot. I was actually not familiar with any of the FF references and was perfectly fine following along so I would have to disagree with you mentioning that this was fundamental to understanding this gamebook story.
The one item that confused me originally was the kidnapping of the princess, but this is explained separately in a later paragraph that you may encounter. Personally I felt that it was enough as a placeholder to demonstrate that the protagonist participated in a “terrible act” befitting of his personality. Even if the kidnapping wasn’t elaborated on I feel I would have been fine, as it is enough to assume that it was a traumatic event orchestrated by the Baron, and a perfect example of his heartless behavior.

I will whole heartedly agree that Kieran has greatly improved, and has some of the most humorous and entertaining writing on the site, and in addition Melchion is an excellent story too.

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