Well it’s a matter of personal preferences. I think I had some expectations of something similar to House of Hell since it’s related. House of Hell had very little humor (if any) and focused on setting up a grim atmosphere.

I think I would’ve reacted differently if your book wasn’t somehow linked to HoH. I think an Indiana Jonesesque dialogue works nicely in an action/adventure context but in this case I believe this kind of character interaction does a disservice to anything horror-related.

Again, it depends what you’re going for. I can’t feel any immersion if the main character reacts in an unrealistic fashion. I think it’s perhaps why the communication of protagonists in ff games is often passive as opposed to actual text quotes because it facilitates immersion.

We all have ideas as to what gamebooks *should* be. I personally could never get into « Wrong Way Go Back » because of the comedic overtone. It’s not for me but I’m not saying it’s bad, it’s not what I’m looking for.

I think predictability is also a big element of immersion. Giving choices which are things someone in a certain situation would likely do. If the reaction is unthinkable or counter-intuitive, immersion is gone.

As for the amount of choices, I think that’s a key element when it comes to game books. A lot of realistic choices which provide a lot of different outcomes. As a player, I expect to take part in the story as opposed to passively being told what happens as this the nature of a book or novella.

I think if someone is very attached to the telling of a very specific story, it’s sometimes better to opt not to use the gamebook format. It allows the development of characters as the writer intends to as opposed to being based on the player’s decision.

I think a lack of agency hinders immersion, involvement and ultimately fun. In your gamebook, I could hardly continue when the protagonist would use quips while being pursued by crazed cultists. No one would ever react like that. I think running away in fear would be what most people would do, saving their breath to save their lives as opposed to saying: « I’ll take my chances! »

I’m writing all of this as feedback for your next creation. Feel free to dismiss my message, it’s just my opinion after all.

Etienne
Sat Jan 4 16:06:22 2020
Shrine Of The Salamander

I liked this adventure. I just wish it was longer.

SPOILER
At the end, it would’ve been awesome to have to do the journey back to safety. It would’ve lengthened the story and make for a more satisfying ending. I hope you’ll expend on this story as opposed to write a new one. The spells mechanic sure was a lot of fun.

Robert Douglas
Sat Jan 4 16:35:06 2020
The Curse Of Drumer

Okay, thanks for the response and feedback :)

Etienne
Sun Jan 5 14:12:01 2020
Gamebooks

Hello!

I've been trying to read how the various authors write their gamebooks in the feedback sections but I'm pretty sure I missed some.

To authors:
How do you proceed when writing a gamebook? Try to be as detailed as possible in your writing process please: optimal method, software used, use of maps, inventory size, number of instant deaths...

also: what you consider to be the fundamentals of a good gamebook and things to avoid.

Thank you!

Phil Sadler
Sun Jan 5 18:23:50 2020
Gamebooks

Well I tend to go like this:

1.) General idea for a story, but it may be best to do your own sequel to one of the real FF books you love if it's your first attempt.

2.) Get a map together and fill it with essential, useful or red-herring items.

3.) Have some of those items guarded by favourite monsters, tricks, riddles or other types of traps, but try to fool the reader into not knowing which items are which straight away.

4.) Have some fights interspaced between the essential items, as well as other interesting situations such as mass-battles, wild-goose chases and bluffs/double-bluffs.

5.) Have a sprinkling of instant deaths here and there.

6.) Play test it (I always try to balance for 'average' characters, apart from in my first book where I was too inexperienced).

7.) Edit it.

8.) Release it.

Now for some general advice:

(a) Always try to balance so that an average (skill 9) character can get through, that way, if he can, then those characters near him in abilities (Skill 8, 10 and 11) should be able to as well. Don't worry about the extreme ends of the skill spectrum.

(b) Do the same for luck and stamina.

(c) Try not to have enemies of more than 9 skill unless they are weak, avoidable or have other ways to weaken them or power yourself up.

(d) Try to avoid to many tests for luck/skill/stamina, especially ones that result in death, absolutely especially on the 'main path'.

(e) Try not to have a complete shopping list of items, especially essential ones. It's just book-keeping for the player.

(f) Almost always end each paragraph with at least one choice.

(g) Not too many 'dead' rooms with nothing or very little in them because you'll go there once and then never again.

(h) Give the player a few clues here and there but sprinkle in a few false ones too.

(i) For monster encounters you should make them interesting in one of two ways: either the monster itself (triple-headed dragon for instance) or the combat instead (he can take your skill or luck or become more powerful or steal your things or break your sword or weaken you, or whatever).

Etienne
Mon Jan 6 11:23:48 2020
Gamebooks

Great! This is exactly what I wanted to know.

Also, how long do you think a ref should be to avoid being wordy?

Phil Sadler
Mon Jan 6 12:06:36 2020
Gamebooks

A ref should be as long as you like; as long as you feel it should be.

Etienne
Tue Jan 7 00:34:28 2020
Gamebooks

Don't know about that. I've read criticism before on other books here about being too wordy and I often agree.

Anyhow, has anyone ever tried starting from the "end" and going backwards? Did you think it worked out in the end? I'm trying to find the best way to do this. I'm about 20 refs in by now.

Etienne
Tue Jan 7 00:48:27 2020
Hunger Of The Wolf

Really good book. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I often wonder if an actual barbarian would refer to himself as a 'barbarian' though.

This was one the good ones to be honest. It never got frustrating, the difficulty felt just right.

Arron
Tue Jan 7 23:10:53 2020
House Of Horror
Skull - non-optimum ending reached

Well, i should have learned from the Original House of hell. Dont drink white wine lmfao

Etienne
Wed Jan 8 15:15:53 2020
Deathtrap

Having a good time! I still prefer house of pain so far but it’s very fun.

Typos:
Ref #: 74
... you steal yourself

# 293:
... to a ancient

# 250: ... although you’re that the...

# 100: ... closely the door...

# 3: ... just continue to stand at the all

You sometimes spell glow stones and sometimes glowstones.

Deaths:
#1: death by skull tentacle
#2: death by devil horse
#3: death by dwarf trial fight
#4: death by shade

Player 1 to 3 on novice, now playing on medium.

I have some things that put me off a bit, let me know if you’re interested. It’s nit picking just so you know.

Phil Sadler
Wed Jan 8 19:09:29 2020
Deathtrap

"I have some things that put me off a bit, let me know if you’re interested. It’s nit picking just so you know."

I'm always interested!

Etienne
Wed Jan 8 20:39:00 2020
Deathtrap

Typos:

#79: watches you with as you

Died 3 more times: cavern monster, cyclop, shade (again).
SPOILER

After you swim past the lake monster and you get to the gem, it says that you take 3 health potions to avoid triggering the trap and take the gem. I didn’t any potions left. I mean, I didn’t take the gem but I think it might be a good idea to rephrase the alternative: either trigger the trap in getting the gem or leave it where it is. To make you take a single choice here based on something you don’t necessarily have feels out place here.

I felt that the death where you walk into a mouth and die was a unfair. I realize the mirrors give you a vague warning about this but it’s unpredictable. The other sudden deaths are reasonable but I thought this one was unfair as in: left or right? Left. Ok you’re dead. I know the stalactites gives a vague hint but it’s very vague.

Phil Sadler
Thu Jan 9 06:51:25 2020
Deathtrap

Can you give me the reference number of the 3 potions trap?

Etienne
Fri Jan 10 16:08:31 2020
Deathtrap

I can’t say. Normally I would ctrl+f to find ‘lake’ or ‘three health potions’, I’d be able to give the reference in minutes that way. I only have access to a tablet at the moment so I can’t. If you can’t find it, I’ll look for it on a computer.

By the way, you haven’t mentioned anything about the typos. Do you correct the original script, does it help to point them out? Because I write all of them on a piece of paper so I was wondering it it was helpful.

Phil Sadler
Fri Jan 10 18:49:23 2020
Deathtrap

I'll correct the script and I'll send it to Andy (the host) and ask him to upload it.

Phil Sadler
Fri Jan 10 18:53:09 2020
Deathtrap

Found the ref 97. I've put this bit into it now:

Unless of course you don’t have three potions left. In which case you dare not try to take the gem and leave without it.

Etienne
Fri Jan 10 20:55:26 2020
Deathtrap

Good idea! I think I like deathtrap the most now. I really look forward to your next book. I would personally buy it if you published. Have you considered submitting it? It’s way better than the zombie one recently published. I think you’ve honed your craft to be a pro now.

I keep track of my death and I must be closed to 20 now. Some things I liked a lot:
SPOILER
The mutant enemy was a great idea.
The concept of competitors who do their own thing.

I think if you could tweak the combat system in your future book, that’d be great. Just some slight alterations. Another cool idea is if you did something like sorcery, linking two books together.

Etienne
Sat Jan 11 16:50:06 2020
House Of Pain

Question:
1. How many fears in total do I pick: 1 primal and 3 basic correct?

2. Do you think it’s cheating if I ‘skip’ over the first part before getting into the mansion? I mean, I don’t read the reference because I’ve read them before, I just skip from one number to the next. Online, it takes seconds as I just click but in a pdf I need to scroll through the text to find the reference.

I’d like to know how you think it should be handled. If I skip, I’d take the same route, add the same amount of fear, and get the same object. It’s streamlining the whole thing.

On the other hand, starting from the beginning might be the way you intended it to be. I don’t cheat and I want to get through it the legit way.

Looking forward to your take on it.

Gavin
Sat Jan 18 23:46:17 2020
New Day Rising

I have the sudden hankering to continue Mission 3 Set in Stone, for better or worse. Guess I can only play Might and Magic Heroes so long.

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